Atom Heart Mother

(instrumental)

Suddenly, once it is true I could kill myself any minute I wanted... I feel pretty powerful. The possible excitement is gone, the drama is gone, all the worries of "how" and "when"... gone. It's actually back to the basics, about life and death. Makes me feel like I'm in charge of something, finally. This is the only thing only I can decide about, the rest is already up to others.

I feel a bit crazy. Not the bad, serious and depressed way, or the funny happy way, neither of them. I wanna scare you and freak you out now. I'm not sure is it good or bad but... does that even matter? Na ah. I feel strong enough to not care for a while.
I actually think I could go and kill someone else.

The Grand Vizier's Garden Party

(instrumental)

Entrance

In elementary school I rocked out. In middle school I was pretty damn good too. School is really not so hard if you just bother even a little bit. I wasn't exactly a straight A student (because of English. Look, 5th grade teacher whoever you were, I'm writing it with a capital E now, happy?). Everything worked out fine, I was just going to get better.


Entertainment

... the fuck happened in high school? Isn't that like the easiest shit ever? Why the hell did I screw it up with all the crap that isnt about school? Weekends are weekends, no time for all that crap during the school days. No fights, no weed, no fucking attitude problems. No sex, no other crap like that. Should have never made any new friends. I was better when no one actually thought I was cool, remember?


Exit

Go ahead and guess. Well you knew it all along

The Narrow Way

Following the path as it leads toward
The darkness in the north
Weary strangers' faces show their sympathy
They've seen that hope before 


So very sick feeling. Dunno if there is a way out anymore. I fear I might have killed somebody. Or will. Seems like you all really are against me on this "Lets-ruin-his-life" mission.


Nah, it's him whos the crazy one, right, right! I just dont see it anymore, I wanna go away and stop the fucking play. I might not live long but my death will be such a show you've never seen before!


Throw your thoughts back many years
To the time when there was life with every morning
Perhaps a day will come when the light will be as clear as on that morning

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict

That was pretty avant-garde, wasn't it?

 Well I like animals and not only the furry and cute ones, but all of them (humans dont count). I've been vegetarian since I was about 12 and more than a year ago I went "vegan" which practically means I live with salad only. I should have thought about it more before I actually decided to be vegan. I'm aware of the fact I fail at doing this sometimes. A few days ago I ate chips and god-knows-what shit there was in it. Same with simple things like.. beer. I dont know if they use animal products in that. Probably some fish oil or such... There is always something.

What about cigarettes? They are animal-tested, and still I smoke on a daily basis. I guess not eating animal products is just hypocritical now since I still use all that kinda crap anyway. I feel shitty about it but come on, I'm not even trying. Thats fucking pathetic. Feeling pathetic and feeling guilty... it's killing me. Sometimes I wonder if it is even possible to feel this way, but there must be something special about me.

Thank you